If you’re just coming out of a week-long bath salts bender, there’s some bad news. Federal Health Minister Leona Aglukkaq announced yesterday that the key ingredient in the drug is going to be illegal soon.
There have been crazy stories about bath salts for a few years now, like a woman getting flesh-eating disease from injecting bath salts and a New Jersey man killing his girlfriend after months of using the drug. Then last week came the gruesome story of a Miami man chewing someone’s face before being fatally shot by police. He is also suspected of having used bath salts.
The face-eating might have been the last straw. The government is now set to classify methylenedioxypyrovalerone (MDPV) as a Schedule 1 drug, which would put it on par with cocaine, heroin and meth. If you really, really love your bath salts, you have until July 10 to fight the proposed change or, alternatively, just stock up on the stuff. It’s widely available online under a number of names like Ivory Wave and Arctic Blast. (They are usually listed with the all-caps warning “NOT FOR HUMAN CONSUMPTION,” which is of course precisely what they’re for.)
So, you should get some bath salts while you can if you want the worst high of your life. Everyone who has tried bath salts says it’s awful. The high is really weak while you sweat buckets and your heart pounds out your chest. And because the euphoria is so mild (compared to other drugs like MDMA), many people start redosing and overdosing. Fast forward a bit and it turns out you haven’t slept in a week and you think your shadow is plotting to kill you. The violent outbursts, on the other hand, are probably exaggerated in news reports.
Numerous countries have already banned MDPV, as well as over 30 U.S. states. The only real reason people have been doing this awful drug has been its legality and therefore availability. Now that Canada is banning it too, people who want to be up all night sweating will probably flock back to sweet Lady Coke.