Federal Minister of Science and Technology Gary Goodyear doesn’t like questions about whether he believes in evolution. How dare you ask!
In 2009 he refused to say what he believed, citing his Christian faith for keeping his thoughts on evolution private. Later, when pressed, he said: “Well, of course, I do, but it’s an irrelevant question … We are evolving every year, every decade.”
That, of course, is not really evolution as most people understand it: the gradual development of life forms from relatively simple to more complex organisms through a process of natural selection. But shucks, we’re always changing, ain’t we? I’m in my twenties; ten years from now I’ll be in my thirties. Evolution!
The question of whether the minister of science believes in, you know, science came up again Tuesday in the House of Commons. NDP MP Bruce Hyer, formerly a biologist, asked Goodyear if he believes in science generally and in evolution specifically.
Goodyear’s answer, no matter how much you give him the benefit of the doubt, seems to suggest that Hyer likes to choke himself while he jerks off and has therefore suffered brain damage.
“Madam Speaker, what I would recommend to the honourable member is that when he tightens that towel around his neck at nighttime that he not do it for more than 20 seconds. It actually ends up causing cerebral anoxia that leaves permanent brain damage.”
Um, what? Goodyear went on to mention the government’s commitment to research and building pipelines “so that we can create jobs today.” Notice the conspicuous absence of anything about evolution and whether he believes in it; also notice the conspicuous presence of “Ease up on the masturbation, David Carradine!”