Recent video obtained by the Albatross clearly demonstrates that octopi are developing alarming problem-solving skills, and may well pose a very real threat to the human race.
The video, produced by some science types and nature apologists at Save our Seas Foundation and the University of Cape Town, shows a “thieving octopus” making off with a “baited remote underwater video (BRUV) system” off the coast of South Africa. In order to do so, the octopus has to “undo three cable ties to remove the bait canister.” The speed with which this underwater beast bests the challenge is surprising in and of itself. The kicker, however, is that our cousin of Cthulhu does so while simultaneously subduing a pajama cat-shark with one or more tentacles the entire while.
Which is pretty gall-darn amazing. Not being able to see the BRUV system around which our pal is wrapped, this ingenious thief solves the problem of the three cable ties tactilely while defending itself from a brutal attacker!
For all we know, octopi are developing these problem-solving skills at a rate unprecedented since the launch of our ongoing War vs Nature. Lord only knows what would happen if the octopus and the pajama cat-shark had put aside their differences, and concentrated their energies on thwarting the science types. For our safety, and that of our children, preemptive action is require. Let’s get those pipelines pumping, those tankers hauling and the devil take the hindmost.
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