The Bear Problem reared its ugly, rotten head again this week. An elderly couple were out walking near Kimberly, British Columbia, when they were savagely attacked by a mother bear as the cubs looked eagerly on and cheered the violence.

CNN reported that the couple, both in advanced years, were taken to hospital in Calgary to be treated, while authorities attempted to track down the Beasts.

While winter is setting in across the country, the ursine kind are busy preparing to hibernate, making them all the more ruthless and bloodthirsty. If you or your family live near Bear Country, it is advised that you carry a high-powered rifle at all times, and are prepared to use it. Thanks to our Conservative government, there is no need to register such a weapon, so there is no excuse for you to be caught unawares by our ursine enemies. Lock and load.