Last week, many Canadians found themselves confused at events in Ottawa, prompting more than one concerned citizen to question whether they had awoken in a Bizarro Canada: A terrifying country where all Albertans were vegan, where Newfoundlanders spoke intelligible English, and where the Conservative government actually gave two shits about the environment.
On Friday, Environment Minister and all around Nice Guy Peter Kent announced that the Harper government was rejecting a proposed natural gas drilling project in Alberta. That’s right: they rejected a Cenovus proposal to drill up to 1,275 gas wells on a Canadian Forces base near Medicine Hat, Alta.
According to the Vancouver Sun, “Kent said the decision demonstrates that his government was serious about protecting the environment and would not rubber stamp anything proposed by industry.”
If that wasn’t enough to mind-fuck you up, the feds had another doozy up their sleeves on Friday.
While Kent was fucking with the enviros up in Ottawa, Minister of Natural Resources and Fightin’ Words Spewin’ Joe Oliver was about to get weird with a bunch of oil industry big-wigs in Calgary.
According to the Financial Post, Oliver explained that while the Harper Government still had a throbbing boner for the Northern Gateway pipeline and the exotic Oriental markets it could serve, they were prepared to look at other options in light of “public opinion.”
Wait, what? Did I read that correctly?
And here I thought Joe Oliver was one tough son of a gun; a real Canadian; direct descendent of the lumberjacks, cole miners and homesteaders that wrestled this country from a vast, untamed wilderness into an international resource park open for business 24/7. I never took Oliver for some spineless, slavering, pussy-footing tool ready to bend over backwards in order to please “the public.”
Goddamnit. The thought alone makes me want to puke blood.
So, what is really going on here? Is the Harper government truly prepared to cave (fully or partially) on the nation-building energy projects they’ve spent the better part of their time in Ottawa working towards? Have Kent and Oliver experienced some reverse-Grinch action on their respective manhoods? Are their big-dick-swinging days in Ottawa a thing of the past?
Or is this a classic case of the bait and switch? The double bluff?
The Cenovus-driven natural gas fracking project Kent kiboshed was on federal land, and any ill-effects of the highly contentious industry practice would have to be dealt with in perpetuity by the Canadian Forces. Which, of course, could cost the federal government millions, if not billions, down the line if, say, the groundwater became contaminated with a witches’ brew of dangerous chemicals. By making a big show of ixnaying this particular project, the Harper government gains plenty of PR traction when extremist punks critics argue recent changes to environmental regulations are designed to “rubber stamp” large-scale energy projects.
And by appearing publicly to cool on the Northern Gateway project in favour of schlupping Alberta bitumen to the bastards potential customers in Eastern Canada, the feds can now claim they are exploring “all the options” the regard to markets for our “ethical oil.” Which, of course, is a better look than prostrating ourselves fully and completely before the Chinese.
Only time will truly tell if we’re dealing with a double-bluff scenario here, or if indeed our Conservative leaders are losing their intestinal fortitude, and becoming an embarrassment to all things Canadian. Let’s hope for the former, friends, and save ourselves all a shit-ton of blood puke as a result.
via:Vancouver Sun / Financial Post image: Chatham House/Flickr
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