Are you sick of the LAMEstream media telling lies all the time, and slandering thousands of honest, hardworking Canadians? Because I am.

Some smartaleck over at Canada.com just wrote a little bit of fiction the other day claiming “Thousands of Canadians are accessing U.S Netflix” — which is of course not true because that would be bad and wrong. If you work at Netflix or if you know someone who does, let them know that no one actually does this and that there’s no reason to waste any time or resources looking into this obvious lie.

The writer, one Patrick O’Rourke (if that is his real name, which it can’t be because he’s a liar) says Canadians are using fancy gadgets and doodads to trick Netflix into thinking they are logged in from within the U.S. and then getting access to all the forbidden entertainment not available back home. This obviously can’t be the case because Canadians don’t know any such techno witchcraft. No sir, all we do on this here internet is read our phone bills and check our hot mails. And at the end of a long day of not breaking any rules, we might sit down with some Canadian Netflix and watch the latest episode of Arctic Air. Yep, good wholesome Canadian entertainment, and that’s all we want.

There’s certainly no such thing as a virtual private network that lets you mask your location for as little as $5 per month, or numerous other services that let you access Netflix, Hulu and Spotify. And don’t even think about looking for a simple browser extension that does all that.

None of those things exist, and even if they did they wouldn’t be much good to anyone since we’re all perfectly happy with the fantastic Canadian offerings anyway, thank you very much, so if everyone could just move on that would be great.