According to Kurt Schlichter (ew), conservatives who aren’t leaving their comfort zones to participate in the Front Lines of the Culture Wars are doing the world a disservice. It’s HBO’s acclaimed and controversial series Girls that has Schlichter clutching his pearls so desperately. As Schlichter describes the show,

Girls is about four young, aimless college grads living in New York. Think of Sex and the City, except Sarah Jessica Parker has doubled her weight, dresses like a potato sack and fancies herself the voice of some undefined generation. There’s sex and nudity – just not hot Homeland sex and nudity.

Ah, of course! Nudity is fine when it’s attractive thin women doffing their shirts, but add five or 10 pounds and it’s a threat to conservative values. It’s also problematic for Schlichter that the show’s creator, director, writer and star, Lena Dunham, is “an Ivy League, wealthy, 26-year old New Yorker.” While that certainly does sound like the stuff of a conservative nightmare (after you remember this is a wildly successful woman, of course), Schlichter isn’t entirely accurate. Dunham’s alma mater, Oberlin College, is not one of the storied Ivy League institutions.

Schlichter, as (we are led to believe) an avid viewer of Dunham’s depraved work, should know Dunham went to Oberlin, since all the characters she’s played onscreen also went to Oberlin.

Facts and reality aren’t Schlichter’s strong suit, though. After throwing out casual sexism and critiques of Dunham’s body (as if she isn’t consciously showing skin in an effort to counteract that exact sentiment), Schlichter hits us with this gem:

Look, if you were as surprised as I was that Mitt Romney lost in November, then you were likely also making the mistake of staying within your comfort zone, within a world purely of the friendly media.

Let’s see that again.

Look, if you were as surprised as I was that Mitt Romney lost in November…

Oh, boy. One more time, just for fun.

Look, if you were as surprised as I was that Mitt Romney lost in November…

Well, we all knew conservatives weren’t Nate Silver‘s biggest followers during the 2012 campaign.

After that breath of fresh air Schlichter gets to the crux of his argument: conservatives have retreated into a media comfort zone, one that “speaks to us and doesn’t insult us. It’s nice.” In order to reclaim some cultural ground from the godless, abortion-having liberal trollops who have run America into the ground and who are best exemplified by the girls of Girls, conservatives need to first watch this horrific mess that passes for “television” and then “do the hard, grassroots work of retaking our culture.”

After all,

You can’t talk about Girls at the water cooler with the rest of the office if you haven’t watched it, and if you aren’t part of the discussion you aren’t injecting and modeling the conservative ideas and values that we need to advance. You can [sic?] criticize and critique if you’re AWOL from pop culture.

Indeed, Kurt Schlichter. Indeed. I’m looking forward to discussing this week’s ep with you at the water cooler with my monstrous liberal cohort. Change our minds, please! Guide us to the light.

via:Big Hollywood image: HBO