Meet the Rollie Eggmaster. It makes bizarre tube-shaped eggs that no human should ever want to eat, although the way the egg rises out of the Rollie may be even more disturbing than the shape.

As someone whose cooking knowledge is almost entirely egg-based, I take offence to the notion that eggs are some devilishly tricky food to prepare. If I can make eggs without having a meltdown, so can you.

The secret is vertical cooking technology!