Masturbating at the local pig barn, all in a day’s work for Manitoba residents

horrified woman

You just don’t get headlines like the one in the Winnipeg Sun this past Tuesday very often, but when you do, watch out!

“Pig barn pervert masturbated on victim’s panties in bizarre bid to impregnate her.”

Jesus Jumping Christ! Some fucked-up shit happens here in Manitoba, but this might take the cake.

As if the headline weren’t enough, the dark and twisted tale of Steinbach, Manitoba’s Glen Brandt quickly descends from bizarre to downright disturbing in a jiffy.

It seems that Brandt, manager of a local hog barn, became so obsessed with a lady co-worker that he spied on her in the shower after work while jerking off into her underwear. The whole thing took place five years ago, but as a respected church leader in the heavily religious community of Steinbach (about 45 minutes southeast of Winnipeg), Brandt confessed his sin to his pastor, and now to the provincial courts.

Now, I believe the Bible says something like, “Let ye who have never jerked off into a pair of ladies’ panties cast the first stone,” and I’m certainly never one to cross the Bible. But it also appears as though Brandt wasn’t into it for the sick kicks alone, but that he somehow thought that by doing so he would impregnate the co-worker with whom he was infatuated.

Wait, what? Hold the fucking phone, here.

According to the Sun reports, Glen kept track of his victim’s “menstrual cycle and was hoping she would get pregnant.” He also blamed his delinquent and criminal behaviour on ”twisted psychology” and “spinelessness.” I’m not sure what “spinelessness” has to do with it, and frankly the unspoken implications are far too dark for me to get into here.

Two things really get me about this story. First there is the fact that, according to the victim, “church members discouraged her from going to police and made her feel she was to blame for what happened.” A criminal investigation only began after the pastor told the victim what had happened and she went against church members’ wishes. Man, I know churches are close-knit communities and all, but what the fuck? Since when did JC — or anyone, for that matter — say it was A-OK to spy on your coworker in the shower, jerk off in her panties and pray to God that your unwanted seed impregnate her?

Second, if Brandt got one off in the victim’s underwear, wouldn’t she notice? How did this not come to light earlier?