Edmonton Mayor Stephen Mandel either has no sense of humour or he is illiterate.
Mandel is hopping mad at the National Post for a perceived slight against his city, even though the paper actually made a joke about Calgary — or the Calgary Herald, to be exact. But that didn’t stop Mandel from demanding a front-page apology and, rather boldly, that the paper stop publishing forever.
“I don’t think I can express how mad I am in language that I can have over any kind of media,” Mandel told an Edmonton news outlet. “The only thing they can do is a front page recanting that they’re ignorant and they should not even be allowed to produce newspapers anymore.”
Who exactly has “allowed” the Post to publish until now and how exactly such permission is revoked, Mandel doesn’t say. But boy, what a final issue that would be.
Front page: “We are ignorant. Goodbye forever!”
Mandel’s outrage all comes from a misreading of what columnist Chris Selley wrote about Calgary’s flood response in Monday’s paper.
In his regular roundup of opinions pieces in the country’s newspapers, Selley noted that the Calgary Herald had a very predictable editorial praising Calgarians for their conduct in the wake of the flooding.
Here’s the offending passage:
The Calgary Herald‘s editorialists could not be more proud of how those affected by terrible flooding over the weekend in Calgary and other communities conducted themselves. “It all adds up to one giant, collective effort, a well-oiled machine that slipped seamlessly into action with no hitches,” they write. “There was no major crime, there was no rioting. That sort of thing has happened elsewhere because disasters can bring out the worst in people. But that’s not southern Alberta’s way and never has been.” Edmonton, for example, would be a smoking hole in the ground at this point, infested with twitchy-eyed, machete-wielding savages.
The joke, you’ll notice, is that highlighting “southern Alberta’s” brave refusal to rape and pillage in a disaster is ridiculous and seems to imply rather low expectations of Calgarians.
But Edmonton’s mayor, either being unfamiliar with sarcasm or reading, thought a national columnist had actually suggested Edmontonians would turn into twitchy-eyed, machete-wielding savages if their city were affected by disaster.
In the same interview, Mandel said “I don’t read the National Post” and then confusingly said “I can see why I don’t read the National Post” — as though his first encounter with the paper retroactively explains why he hadn’t previously read it.
“I’ve got to tell you, I’ve never been so insulted in my life by something so rude and so despicable,” Mandel maintained.
Eager not to let the mayor be the most humourless person in the city, James Cumming, the president of the Edmonton Chamber of Commerce, added his voice to the chorus by calling Selley’s misunderstood jab at the Calgary Herald “a double-barrelled insult.”
According to Cumming: “It unjustly maligns the dedicated and heartfelt efforts of Edmontonians to assist our neighbors, friends, families and colleagues in Calgary during relief efforts. And his statement directly calls into question the ability of Edmonton to cope with crisis.”
Dear Lord. All this protestation makes you fear for when a crisis actually does strike Edmonton.
Late Friday, Mayor Mandel tried to walk back his outrage a bit by claiming on his Twitter account that he knew it was a joke all along, haha, what? No, he totally gets it. It’s just like, not funny or whatever. K bye!
Yes I know it's a joke. Didn't find it funny. As usual Edmontonians help me find the humour. Thanks #machetesomethingyeg.
— Mayor Stephen Mandel (@MayorMandel) June 28, 2013