Likeaduck/Flickr
Tuesdays can really suck it, like, big time. Good thing the world we live in — and what a world, eh? — is full of squirrels just being squirrels.
Sabl3t3k/Flickr
Man, squirrels are sweet. Who doesn’t love a good squirrel story, now and again?
Buddy, there are some squirrels up in my neighbourhood… Well, I guess it’s not really my neighbourhood, so much as it’s my buddy Squirrelman’s neighbourhood. But it’s basically my neighbourhood.
Anyhow, I’ve been checking out what my new buddy Squirrelman gets up to on the reg. It sure is something! Boy-o-boy! These little suckers could really teach us a thing or two, you know? Like, something super deep. Like, something about humanity, about ourselves.
Pete Birkinshaw/Flickr
I mean, just look at this little fella right here. He’s probably having the best day of his life! Or, at least not the worst.
Snacks? Check. Sweet place to just hang? Double check. Sun’s out, guns out? Fuckin’ rights, buddy.
CatDancing/Flickr
Some people will tell you, “Squirrels are lazy!” and “Squirrels are just God’s turds turned into life!”
You know what? I call those people “jerks”!
A squirrel’s purpose is just to be a squirrel. To try not to die for another day. And to squirrel away — hah! — enough grub to not starve tomorrow. Pretty straightforward. No mumbo-jumbo.
David Williss/Flickr
Besides, squirrels can run up trees and execute incredible leaps through the Void with absolutely no regard to their own personal safety, or that of others around them!
They can pull that shit off because they are completely confident in their ability to do so. If they fail, which they had better not, they’ll dramatically increase their chances of dying. Which completely contradicts one of the three pillars upon which their existence depends. So you know they’re not about to mess up.
Think you could pull it off? I didn’t think so. Step up your game, son.
Alberto López/Flickr
It really makes you think, doesn’t it? I mean, squirrels are so dang cool, just being themselves. Meanwhile, most of us are just the fucking worst!
Nathan Ham/Twitter
Oh man, what do we have here?
Look’s like someone trying to pull a fast one on our lil’ pal here. Tryin’ to get the lil’ fella to pose for what would undoubtedly be the hottest Squirrel Pic the net has seen in quite some time. Could go fuckin’ viral?
Barbara Tomlinson/Twitter
Hah! Looks like our lil’ buddy is too smart for the old “Plastic Squirrel Head Feeder Candid Camera Squirrel Pic” gag. Guess squirrels got more goin’ on upstairs than some folks will give ‘em credit for.
Still a pretty cool idea, though. I’d love to see that squirrel with a huge head! Instant knee-slapper, guaranteed.
SaraJ/Twitter
Man, the life of a squirrel must be just the best. The absolute “tits,” as the kids say these days.
Chewin’ acorns? Runnin’ up and down trees? Screeching an unholy chatter early in the a.m. when any sane animal is still resting comfortably, just to let everyone know you’re still alive? Sign me up!
Elyce Feliz/Flickr
Whoa! Is that a pack of smokes?!
Don’t do it, Squirrelman! Smoking is just so goddamn cool the worst. Don’t you watch news?
Oh, good! Looks like that’s not a pack of smokes after all. Just a crushed-up red Solo cup. Jeez! I was really worried about you there for a second, squirrel.
Ali Arsh/Flickr
Yeah, I gotta tell ya, friend. And this is no BS, here. Sure as shit ain’t meant for your shorts. Livin’ the squirrel life must be like livin’ the dream. Only better.
Rachid H/Flickr