The government is sorry to hear about your terrible [type of incident]

Calgary flood 2013

Canada’s Minister of Public Safety Steven Blaney has a script ready for any disaster or security threat. He just has to fill in the blanks, and presto: one somber press release coming right up.

The government’s preparedness plan has come to light thanks to a Access to Information request by Canadian Press reporter Jim Bronskill, showing that no matter what the situation, there’s a careful script to follow.

The three-page document CP obtained (embedded below) shows there are talking points for man-made and natural disasters, as well as hacking and terrorist incidents both in Canada and in the United States.

One of the funniest scripted comments is in relation to major disasters. A bullet point in the ministerial handbook reads: “Our heartfelt sympathies are with the families and friends of those affected by this terrible [type of incident] in [city or town].”

Huh, so government officials don’t know to extend their sympathy to people in disaster-affected areas unless it’s written down for them.

And what if our friends in the United States suffer a terrorist attack? “A tragic event has taken place in [city or state] and our heartfelt sympathies are with those directly affected and their families.”

I guess you can never be too prepared. Thank [deity] we have such procedures in place.

Read the full story CP story here.

[image via Colby Stopa/Flickr]

disasters, follow the script, , Steven Blaney, terrorism