A horse in Saskatchewan has done the seemingly impossible, gaining human intelligence and language skills and (somehow) typing a Kijiji ad.
The horse, named Jess, is advertising himself for adoption. He’s upset with his owner for cheating on her boyfriend, as the ad makes clear:
Hi. My name is Jess. I’m an 8 year old gelding quarter horse looking for a new home. I’m very well behaved and I like to take people on rides. Trouble is my owner would rather ride the owner of the gym in Melfort than to ride me. And he’s 8X older than me! Please call [phone number] or [second phone number] and get me off my ex boyfriends farm! Thank you.
The ad includes a couple clues to why Jess would be so upset about his owner’s indiscretions. In the human friendship dynamic one’s allegiance typically lies with the friend in a relationship gone sour, and if we can apply that dynamic to the owner-horse relationship, Jess would be expected to side with his owner. But Jess lets slip some very interesting information when he accidentally refers to the owner’s former flame as “my ex boyfriend.”
He also seems a little too upset that his owner “would rather ride the owner of the gym in Melfort” who is, after all, eight times older than Jess. On closer inspection, Jess’ feelings for the former couple look more and more suspicious. No wonder the breakup has had such an effect on him.
Jess the horse may have learned English, figured out how to use the internet, and managed to type despite his giant hooves and lack of fingers, but it seems he’s come up against that most impregnable of barriers: interspecies love.